Once More With Feeling: Buffy Hogwarts Style
by Athame Swordsman
Summary: Wooo! Another Chapter Finally! I shall write a lot more ASAP! sorry about the delay...but it's a NEW CHAPTER!
1. Chapter One: A Musical? WTF?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, JKR does, I simply love to play with and wreak havoc on her adorable little world full of love and bunnies... So don't sue me!  
  
A/N: I realize I haven't even started a Chapter three for "Hermione's Revenge" but I got this idea in my head and I needed to indulge it. I'm sorry.. I am working on it after I get chapter two of this up.  
  
Albus Dumbledore sat in his office behind his desk with a gleeful expression on his face. 'Hmmmm,' he thought to himself, 'I wonder what their reactions will be when I anounce this.' An evil smirk overtook his mouth. 'They'll wish Voldemort was alive and Headmaster, even, of Hogwarts. Oh well, It'll be fun for me at least. 'With that thought still in mind, Albus headed down to breakfast to break the news.  
  
* * *  
  
As soon as everyone was in the Great Hall and seated, Dumbledore raised his glass goblet and tapped it with his wand. The sound echoed ten times louder than if he had done it with a spoon or fork. Everyone snapped their heads to see what was up. Hermione, Harry and Ron were all especially intrigued because they had spotted him coming down the marble staircase with a sinister smirk on his face. When it was Albus Dumbledore whose doing the smirking, one had better watch out, because that was rarely a good sign.  
"Everyone," boomed Dumbledore, sounding very pleased with himself, "I have a very special anouncement to make, this applies to all staff members as well...."  
"Uh-oh," said Hermione, "I dont like the sound of that." Dumbledore continued.  
"....We will be putting on a school musical!" Most people groaned at this, but some, like Colin and Dennis Creevy were saying things like 'yay!' and 'woohoo!'. When everyone had calmed down, Dumbledore continued. "All students from year six and up will participate in the auditions, as well as all staff members with the exception of Mr. Filch, who is excused on the account of needing to nurse Mrs. Norris back to health after that fiasko with the 'Ton Tongue Taffy." He glared all over the student body as well as Snape did in potions classes. "And I think it is safe to say, that if we ever find who did it, they will be expelled immidiately after beleivable evidence is given." He finished severely. "On a lighter note, The audtitions are to be held tommorrow afternoon, they will begin at 1:30 pm Sharp. I expect everyone, including the auditionees, to be seated and ready to go by then, or else I will permit Professor Snape and Professor McGonnigall to hand out detentions as they see fit." With that, Dumbledore left the students to eat their breakfast in peace.  
"Yes! This is great!" exclaimed Ron. Hermione and Harry looked at him weirdly. He then explained himself. "Well, the One thirty double potions lesson is cancelled then, right?"  
"Well, I suppose so, but I think I can honestly say that I would rather take an extra year of NEWT Potions classes than get up and sing in front of the ebtire school, If I sound horrible, the Slytherins would be unbearable!" Harry spoke with a bit of sorrow in his voice.  
"Good Point Harry, but just think, Crabbe and Goyle will be funny to see sing.... and bring earplugs for Pansy Parkinson's performance. I heard her sing once, and it sounded like that egg you had in your fourth year for the tournament." Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean, Seamus and Ginny all laughed at this.  
"Hey Potty," another voice cut in, what do you think you'll do, a pop hit or a rock number?" Everyone turned to see who was standing behind Ginny.  
"Hey, ferret-man, I dunno yet.... you?"  
"Not a clue. Just be forwarned, my gorious girlfriend girlfriend here," he pointed to Ginny, She blushed and looked at Ron, who almost choked on his eggs, "Is going to blow you out of the water. Every single one of you." Then he walked away. Ron's face was turnig redder by the second.  
"You... never... told....me..... you.... were.... going.....out.....with........Malfoy!" Ron shouted at Ginny so loud that the entire hall went silent. Professor McGonnigall shouted,  
"That's enough Mr. Weasley!!!" Ron sank down into his seat at the sound of her voice, but he continued to glare at Ginny and Malfoy interchangeably all through the rest of breakfast.  
  
* * *  
  
The girls got to the girls dormitories section and invited Ginny and her friend in fifth year, Jhenna Rosko, to join them in a brainstorming session, which they graciously excepted. They were all sitting on either Hermione's be facing Parvati's or Parvati's facing Hermione's, and every single one of them were giving ideas out.....  
"How about some muggle songs? Uhm.... you guys could do a quartet couldn't you? What about 'Lady Marmalade'? No?.... Okay..." Jhenna tried to help, and she did later on...."My mum's a music teacher for a muggle college, maybe you guys could sing something and I could come up with a song You can learn that'll match your voices?" Everyone agreed. Hermione went first. "Uhm, something from this album, I think, and she handed Hermione something with a black girl on the front that said her name was 'Brandy'. Ginny was next. Christina Agulara, and the same for Parvati. For Lavender, Jhenna decided that a Leeyanne Rhymes was the way to go. Then the other 6th year Gryffindor girls.  
  
* * *  
  
The day of the auditions and everyone was nervous. They had a free day to do whatever they liked until 1:30 that afternoon. Professor McGonnigall invited Hermione and Ginny to the Teacher auditions, when they were half way through to see her perform.  
After Professor Mcgonnigall had performed a lovely Jazz peice, she came over to Hermione and Ginny as they were setting the stage for something a bit different. "So how was I?" She asked excitedly.  
"That performance was mind-blowing!" Ginny said. Hermione nodded and added,  
"Absolutely fantastic!" McGonnigall plopped herself down next to Ginny and Hermione in the temporary auditorium.  
"Lets watch Sirius in his 'RockStar' attire!" She giggled.  
After Harry's fifth year, in their 6th as a matter of fact, Hermione had discovered a very rarely idealized ressurection spell. Sirius for the most part was...horrified and asked if it was hell that he was brought to... but when he saw Harry he brightened up a bit, however he is still obsessed with death. He was now the Professor of Ancient Runes.  
Lupin was, once again, The DADA Teacher for this year. Albus Dumbledore had discovered a cure for his wolfi-ish-ness and was now known world wide as a top Potions Master. Thinking of Potions Master.......  
"Professor? Has Professor Snape 'auditioned' yet?" Ginny giggled at  
Hermione's curiousity. McGonnigall giggled like a schoolgirl (wait a minute! Hold the phone! Minerva giggles? wow.... I really am messed up when it comes to HG/SS pairings! oO?).  
"No, Hermione," she said, still trying to get a hold on herself, "He has not. He's on after Remus, who is on after Sirius." Hermione nodded. She didn't find it unnerving that Minerva was using first names with her and Ginny, as she knewn that Minerva knew that they could and were allowed to when it wasn't in class or around other students. Hermione checked her watch, it was now 9:08 am. Sirius was making it onto the stage. He then tapped the magical microphone to check if it was working, which it was and began to sing with his red electric guitar that was in the shape of a "V". He began singing a song that Hermione and Ginny recognized as an american muggle song by 'Puddle of Mudd' entitled 'She hates me'  
  
"Met a girl,thought she was grand, fell in love, found out first hand It went well for a week or two Then it all came unglued, In a trap, trip i cant grip I never thought I'd be the one who slipped Then i started to realize I was living one big lie She fucking hates me......"  
  
Minerva shoved her hands over Ginny's ears and Ginny was trying to fight her off so she could hear the song. Hermione finally interjected. "She swears all the time, there's no point to it." Minerva reluctantly withdrew her hands. Then they watched and listened to the rest of the song. After it was over, some students started filing in to see who was swearing. Harry, Ron, Neville, Colin and Dennis all sat on the other side of Ginny. Minerva got up and said,  
"I'd better start monitering the crowd!" Hermione grabbed her arm before she left becuse she needed to ask something.  
"Can we go and stand in front of the stage as they're singing?" Minerva looked surprised and then said,  
"Well, I don't see why not, as long as you don't insult the performers." Hermione said a hurried thank you, and grabbed Ginny's arm.  
"You wanna learn how to mosh muggle style?" Ginny nodded with a huge grin on her face. Hermione then dragged Ginny to the front of the stage. Cho Chang (who had failed a year) joined them and soon many Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were grouped up in front of the stage. Then Remus came on. He had hold of a hot pink warlock shaped guitar and was about to sing when he noticed the crowd at his feet. He also noticed that Hermione was front row center, with Ginny by her side.  
Then he started singing.  
"8 o'clock Monday night and I'm waiting, To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me, Her name is Nona, She's a rocker with a nose ring She wears a two way but I'm not quite sure what that means..."  
But by the look on Harry's face, he obviousely did. Hermione was now teaching everyone how to mosh and the boys were being exceptionally brutal...Hell... Even Sirius had joined in the fun, moshing with an overly eager and amazingly tough little guy named Flitwick. They were right in the middle of the mosh crowd. Even some of the Slytherins were joining in. Malfoy had weasled his way to the front row, right next to Hermione, who he whispered this to:  
"So Hermione, Are you having fun?" She turned and nodded. Then he was dragged over next to Ginny. The song ended and Remus was rewarded with screams, clapping and wolf-whistles coming from Sirius.  
  
Then it was Snape's turn. A/N: awwwww how cuuute.. Lol this is gonna be fun. hope you all like. Please Review! 


	2. Chapter Two: Hermione WolfWhistles?

Disclaimer: See chapter 1  
  
A/N: Thank you for reviewing, Sulitari-Draugwen and Rockithegreat, Here is Sevvy just for your (and other people's too)entertainment! Chapter three coming soon!  
  
Snape looked weird, coming on stage. He was normally in his robes all day. As a matter of fact, no student had seen Snape wear anything different for as long as he had been there, with the exception of Harry in his fourth year, When Snape had came out of his private rooms, wearing nothing but a grey dressing gown.  
  
Now it was different, very different. Snape came on stage wearing sort of tight boot-cut black jeans, Black army boot tucked underneath the jeans and a black long-sleeved dress shirt with white buttons. His hair was carefully tied back into a loose "ponytail". (sounds weird saying anything like 'pony', 'puppy', or 'kitten' anywhere near discribing Snape, doesn't it?) He also had a guitar. This was black as well (well, duh Athame, we are talking about Snape after all), and it was a Fender Strat. He looked nervous, and was wearing his usual scowl. Then a HufflePuff boy said, loud enough for everyone to hear.  
  
"Ha! Snape sing? This is going to be hilarious!" Sirius then spoke up.  
  
"Forty points from Hufflepuff, Mister Dewing!" The boy shut up at that and many of the Hufflepuffs groaned and slapped him over the head. They were already in last place for the House Cup!  
  
Snape walked to the center and began to play an awesome guitar riff. Hermione recognised it right away and as he began to sing, she sang along. The Slytherin crowd was pushing its way to the front, but when Millicent Bullstrode tried to push Hermione out of the way, Hermione elbowed her. Draco and Ginny followed suit as they were threatened by other Slytherin girls.  
  
Hermione just carried on singing along. He was actually getting into this.  
  
"She paints her nails, and she dont know  
He's got her best friend on the phone,  
She'll wash her hair, His dirty clothes  
Are all he gives to her.  
And he's got posters on the wall  
Of all the girls he wished she was  
And he means everything to her......."  
  
He continued on, with his amazingly gorgious voice. Hermione sang along with him. He was absoluttely astonished that she would know it, but he didn't know why, She was muggle born after all. He continued singing.  
"......He don't know anything about her  
He's too stoned, nintendo  
I wish that I could make her see  
She's just the flavor of the week..  
It's Friday night, She's all alone  
He's a million miles away  
She's dressed to kill, The TV's on  
He's connected to the sound  
And he's got pictures on the wall  
Of all the girls he's loved before  
And she knows all his favorite songs....."  
  
Hermione couldn't believe that this evil potions master had such a wonderful voice. As a matter of fact, it was serenading her into a place where he was singing about her, and how much he wished that she would see that he wanted her and would treat her better than that other boyfriend of hers. She was snapped out of her reverie when the song ended. All the Slytherins were clapping and wooping, all the Gryffindors Ravenclaws,Hufflepuffs were just standing there. All Except one who was standing next to a ragged redhead and an absolutely adorable Slytherin. As Snape walked off the stage, Hermione dared something no one else could have possibly done for fear of instant death. She wolf-whistled at Snape. He turned quickly around to see who it was and just saw everyone laughing and talking. Oh well... he'd find out later. Then he stalked off stage.  
  
As soon as Hermione had whistled at Snape, Ginny had turned to her and said very shocked like, "Hermione Dierdre Granger!" Malfoy had shot his head over too and was now doing a little number that went like this:  
  
"Mioney and Snape, sitting in a tree.....k-i-s-s-i-n-g........" When he was about to start, 'first comes love' Ginny smacked him hard over the head and recieved a satisfying "OW" along with plenty of curse words. Then it was time for lunch.  
  
Everyone filed into the Great Hall and to everyones disgust, there was only one big table in the middle of the hall. The house tables were gone. And so was the staff table. There were place tags where they were to be seated. Hermione was absolutely dumbfounded when she found that her seat was between a sort of cute seventh year Ravenclaw name Trystan Garrett and Snape. She sat down and waited to see where everyone else was seated. When everyone had sat down she saw a bit of a pattern. It went Gryffindor- Slytherin- Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw.  
  
Harry was seated between Cho and Crabbe. Ginny was seated between Luna and Draco, Ron was seated between Padma Patil and Millicent Bullstrode. Neville had definately lucked out as he was seated next to Albus Dumbledore and a pretty Ravenclaw 5th year named Kora Starlick. Seamus was between A burly Ravenclaw boy and Goyle. Dean had gotten the worst luck of them all, as he sat between a Slytherin Girl and a Ravenclaw girl who were looking behind him, pointing at him and giggling every two seconds. Jhenna had gotton put between an adorable Slytherin boy named Shawn Gusee and a Ravenclaw guy who was absolutely gorgious. Parvati was in between a Slytherin Chick who wouldn't stop glaring at her and she was actually talking to the Ravenclaw girl about something (Parvati was talking, not the Slytherin chick). Lavender didn't seem to mind being seated between Trelawney and Pansy Parkinson.  
  
When the food arrived everyone but Hermione and Snape dug in. She despised porkchops, lambchops and veel. By the look on Snape's face, he did too. When he noticed that she wasn't eating, simply drinkng pumpkin juice he decided to try to engage her in conversation.  
  
"Are you not hungry, Miss Granger?" He asked, He was actually curious as to why she wasn't eating.  
  
"I am hungry, but I'd rather starve than eat lambchops, porkchops or veel. It's disgusting how people can just shove it down their throats, knowing that they are eating innocent animals that are in essense only babies." To her surprise he nodded and it surprised her even more what he asked her next.  
  
] "I agree, What do you say we go down to the kitchens and get something decent for lunch?" She nodded.  
  
"I think that sounds like an excellent Idea Professor. Let's go!" with that, they pushed their chairs back and walked out of the Great Hall.  
  
They had just tickled the pear and entered when Dobby approached Hermione and said "Friend of Harry Potter's is not welcomed here by the other House Elves, but Dobby tried to stand up for you, Miss, him and Winky both did, Miss. But to no avail, Dobby's afraid." Hermione let out a low growl and said,  
  
"Fine! I just won't eat lunch! It's not a big deal!" and she began to leave when Snapes hand landed on her arm and pulled her back beside him.  
  
"May I ask why she is not welcome here?" He spat at Dobby. Dobby cowered. Then he answered.  
  
"Miss is not welcomed here because of S-P-E-W! The other Elves don't tru--" Hermione interupted him.  
  
"I gave that up in my sixth year! I realized that they like it the way it was! You know what Dobby, I'll just leave. Thank you and thank Winky for me as well." She went to leave once again but Snapes hand still held her there.  
  
"What on earth is 'Spew', Miss granger?" He asked, a little intrigued. Hermione got upset.  
  
"It----was----not----'Spew'----it----was----'S--P--E--W--!" She almost yelled it! Even though it was over, she still hated when people called it that. "And it stood for Sociaty of.....I cant remember the 'p' part...... of Elvish Welfare. or something like that." He looked her up and down. She went to leave as his hand left her arm but a house elf stood in the way. It was a little one and it too wore a uniform with the Hogwarts crest on it. She spoke.  
  
"Miss, Pwease do not go, I is not wishing you to, neither is mummy or daddy, pwease stay and eat some wunch." With that some of the other elves came out of hiding and were fixing up some food for her and Snape. They ate their fill. Snape eating an egg salad sandwich and a bowl of fruit salad, Hermione eating a regular salad and a strange looking macaroni salad she had made for herself.  
  
"Miss Granger, what is that macaroni concoction you have there?" He asked, curiousity getting the better of him.  
  
"Oh! This? It's um, a little something of my creation. It's macaroni with ranch salad dressing, cucumbers, cherry tomatos, black olives, and bacon bits. Want a taste?" He furrowed his brow and nodded uncertainly 'yes'. With a wave of her wand she conjured a bowl of it for him. He reluctantly tasted it with his fork and looked at her.  
  
"Miss Granger." He said very seriously, she was worried. "I do believe I just tasted the most de" He stopped short of finishing his sentence to watch her squirm in her seat. He smirked. "My, my, we are afraid of my reaction, aren't we? I was just about to say how utterly delicious this was." Hermione sighed with releif.  
  
They finished their food and headed fo the Auditorium. It was about quarter after when they reached it and sat down next to each other, but on other side of the isle.  
  
Everyone else had settled down and they were about to begin. 'Oi' thought Hermione, 'This will be fun.... not!'  
  
Albus jumped onstage to speak to them and the auditorium was silent.  
  
TBC.....  
  
Review Pleeeeaaaasssee!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter Three: Harry Don't Like This

"Everyone, Welcome to the 1st annual Musical Auditions for the students! I hope you all enjoy their performances. As you all already know, respect is to be shown to the performers at all times. Anything other than that is cause for immediate detention. Thank you all and now lets get the show on. I expect all of the auditionees are prepared. When I call out your names, you are to come and perform. We will start with the Ravenclaws, and then on we will go to Hufflepuff then Slytherin and at last Gryffindor. Cho Chang!"  
  
Cho got up and silently made her way to the stage, obviously nervous. Hermione started clapping and then the rest (except the Slytherins, of course) started. They needed to make Cho feel more confident. When she got next to, but not on the stage, she shrugged off her robe. She was wearing tight pink denim Capri's and a white belly T-shirt. She then walked up the small set of stairs onto the stage. She then proceeded to the microphone and flicked her wrist, with that some music started, and she began to sing.  
  
"Lying here on the floor where you left me  
  
I think I took too much  
  
I'm crying here, what have you done?  
  
I thought it would be fun......"  
  
Everyone was listening to her pretty, ---but certainly not amazing by any means, amazing---voice.  
  
"......I cant stay on your morphine  
  
Cuz it's making me itch,  
  
I said I tried to call the nurse again,  
  
But she's being a little bitch,  
  
I think I'll get outta here......"  
  
Cho sang on, and when she was finished, everyone clapped nicely and sat back to listen to the rest. Nine more Ravenclaws got up and sang, then it was the Hufflepuff group. There was nothing to say other than 'BLAH SOMEONE GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE' for every one of their performances and most of the Slytherin's as well. Malfoy was okay, but certainly not something to dote upon, which Ginny, being the faithful girlfriend that she is, did anyway. Hermione thought that pleather hot pants were really a bit too much. It was then time for the Gryffindors' turn. Hermione tummy felt like it was populated by about twelve thousand butterflies, well actually butterflies make her feel happy, better make it bats then.  
  
"Rosko, Jhenna." Called out McGonnigall. The sixth year with black hair stumbled onto the stage. She was a bit chubby, but any idiot could tell that it was just a small bit of baby fat. She wore a crimson wife- beater tank top that hugged her almost perfect figure. She also wore a long black skirt with a slit that was a bit high on her thigh (hey! that rhymes! I'm a spaz! Btw:) and black combat boots. She looked feminine in an ass kicking way. She then began singing a depressing song. Ron was absolutely dumbstruck, Jhenna had an awesome voice! And it expressed the suicidal point to the song so well.  
  
"I tried to kill the pain,  
  
But only brought more,  
  
I lay dying  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret  
  
And betrayal  
  
I'm dying,  
  
Praying,  
  
Bleeding  
  
I'm screaming,  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
"My god,  
  
My Tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation,  
  
My god,  
  
My tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation,  
  
"Do you remember me?  
  
Lost for so long  
  
Will you be on the other side  
  
Or will you forget me?  
  
I'm dying,  
  
Praying,  
  
Bleeding,  
  
I'm screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
"My god,  
  
My tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My god,  
  
My tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation,  
  
"My wounds cry for the grave,  
  
My soul cries for deliverance,  
  
Will I be denied?  
  
Christ  
  
Tourniquet  
  
My suicide."  
  
The song ended and everyone clapped. 'She may be obsessed with death' Hermione thought, ' but she has a really good voice.' Next up was Ginny. Harry was grinning as Ginny shed her robes to reveal very revealing Leather tank top and tight leather bell-bottomed pants. She proceeded with her turn by singing "Dirrty" by a muggle artist called Christina Aguilara. It was a frightening sight to the girls and after the job was over, the only guys who weren't trying to hide the fact that they were saluting were the teachers (who weren't "Saluting" to begin with) and the boys who had raced to the bathroom in a desperate attempt to save house points.  
  
After that fiasco and a few more 6th year Gryffindors, they continued to the 7th years. "Potter, Harry" Harry reluctantly made his way to the front of the auditorium as slowly as humanly possible. Five minutes later, Harry had finished his song and Ron was headed up. Then Neville, then Dean, then Seamus. The girls went up and almost everybody decided to leave during Parvati and Lavender's numbers.  
  
"Granger, Hermione." Hermione slowly rose from her seat and shuffled her way over the knees of her friends. She then proceeded to the stage, where she took off her robes to reveal a pretty black corset with red ribbon tied in the back and tight, yet loose, black jeans. Her hair wasn't bushy, but full and it fell over her shoulders in rich creamy browns.  
  
"Every day is so wonderful  
  
And suddenly it's hard to breath  
  
Now and then I get insecure  
  
From all the fame, I'm so ashamed  
  
"I am beautiful, no matter what they say..."  
  
Snape was looking at Hermione with desire hidden well within those deep pools. 'Yes, Miss Granger,' he thought, 'you are, indeed, beautiful, but I'm not going to be nice to you just because of that. Hell, I doubt that I can be nice to anyone, at least, not of my own free will.' He smirked. Harry saw him and began whispering hurriedly to Ron.  
  
"Did you see that? Snape just looked at Hermione!" Ron nodded his head.  
  
"Well yes, Harry, people tend to do that when she's up on stage singing. Your not exactly the brightest crayon in the box, are you?" Ron replied, clearly irritated.  
  
"He just smirked at her, like he was thinking of an evil plot. Ron, I didn't like it." Harry said.  
  
"It doesn't matter if you don't like it or not, six and a half years at Hogwarts has taught me to not meddle in other people's business, especially when that 'people' is Snape. Just forget about it Harry. There's no point in getting a detention for nothing at all. Now shut it and watch Hermione!" Harry said no more. He knew that when Ron snapped he was irritated, and he was a force to be reckoned with.  
  
"You are beautiful no matter what they say,  
  
Words won't bring you down,  
  
You are beautiful in every single way,  
  
Yes words won't bring you down,  
  
Don't you bring me down today.  
  
No matter what we do  
  
No matter what they say  
  
When the sun is shining through  
  
Then the clouds won't stay  
  
And everywhere we go  
  
(Everywhere we go)  
  
The sun won't always shine  
  
(Sun won't always shine)  
  
But tomorrow will find a way  
  
All the other times  
  
We are beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Yes, words won't bring us down  
  
We are beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Yes, words can't bring us down  
  
Don't you bring me down today  
  
Don't you bring me down today  
  
Don't you bring me down today."  
  
Hermione ended the song and made her way off stage. She had never sang in front of anyone but her mirror at home and was siked to have put out such an excellent performance. Everyone was standing and clapping, that is everyone except Snape and a few select Slytherins, but that was to be expected.  
  
A/N: Sorry for such a boring chapter, there'll be more in chapter four. A Friend and I will be co-writing a fic and publishing it under her Pen Name, which is MatrixMutt-Snape. She loves him almost as much as I do...oO? Anyway....  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I've had some requests for names of the songs and such.  
  
Sirius sang--She Hates Me, by Puddle of Mudd  
  
Lupin sang--Girl All The Bad Guys Want, by Bowling For Soup  
  
Snape sang--Flavor Of The Week, by American Hi-Fi  
  
Cho sang--Like a Pill, by Pink  
  
Jhenna sang--My Tourniquet, by Evanescence  
  
Ginny sang--Dirrty, by Christina Aguilara  
  
Hermione sang--Beautiful, by Christina Aguilara  
  
Again, Thank you all for reviewing. I love you all and enjoy reading your works as well (Whenever I get a review I check them out on their members page on Fanfiction.net, Then I try to read their stuff and review! I love reading them! Keep up the great work guys!)  
  
I love reading reviews! 


	4. Poems and Games

A/N:Thankies to all meh reviewers, 1st of all for being so understanding, 2nd, for all your great reviews and a salute to all meh fellow Sevvy lovers out there! Thank all of you guys for being so enthused about these stories... and now before all you poor souls die of boredom by reading the A/N... Here we go with chapter 4...Finally! Woo!  
  
Cahpter 4:  
  
....'There once was a penguin named Bob  
Who was moping about with a sob,  
He was in quite a rut,  
For shoved up his butt  
was a pretty sharp and real pointy log....'  
  
"Miss Granger!!!I would appriciate it immensly if you would stop writing dirty limericks all over your notebook and pay attention!" Snape was in an especially foul mood this afternoon, and with good reason. This morning he recieved 17 1/2 owls (Eroll only counts as half) It seemed his rather 'nice' (*shivers* ooh! I hate that word, but for lack of a better one, why the hell not?) performance, had earned him a load of *ahem*fans, both male and female. 15 of the Letters ended up to be from Sirius Black himself. ....' There once was a teacher named Snape, Who would never remove his black cape his outfit stayed togethor in good and bad weather But I know that he's In awesome shape.'  
  
"Miss Granger! If you insist upon this madness... o my goodne- why on earth would you write a limerick about me?"  
  
" I know, Sir, it's amazing anybody wrote anything so nice about you isn't it?" Harry responded, even though he knew the retorical question was meant for Hermione, and it was retorical...  
  
"How about this one, Miss Granger, since we're swapping poetry..."  
  
"Loads better than them swapping spit..." Ron muttered to Harry. Harry nodded in agreement. Snape began his Limerick.  
  
"My young, silly, sweet, darling, Granger, You seem to be in quite some danger, You'll receive a detention, Cuz you wont pay attention and in the end you will be all the more stranger.  
  
8:00 sharp in here tonight."  
  
*************************************************************  
  
HG- There once was a small house, on a small hill, and inside that house lived a little old man who.... HP- Was named Matt, he decided that he need to go get... RW-Tuna fish from... GW-The Supermarket, but when he got there the... HG- Waste basket mongerer told him that the Tuna fish guy went home sick, and that he would just have to do without tuna fish tonight. but instead you could have... HP-Monkey brains, its a delecacy in.... RW-Vatican City, which is the home of... GW-Marsupials R Us, Where they sell.... HG- Hippopotomi for.... HP- 2 knuts a gallon which converts to... RW-3 satchels of peanuts, which is... GW- ridiculously expensive, I would much rather buy... HG- A pair of socks for that kind of money, But matt headed for... HP-Home, and when he got there, his siamese sisters with 4 fully funtional vaginas asked... RW-Where's the bloody Tuna?!?! we've been waiting for... GW-hours!  
  
(::points to weird ish ness!:: This is a game called finish the story...)  
  
After they all got done laughing, Hermione said, "Guys, I think we need to discover other things to do to waste extra time in the commonroom." Ginny chirped in.  
  
"yeah, we keep coming up with lamer and lamer things each time... we need something new!  
  
"Hey!" said Harry, "how 'bout a quick game of Truth, Dare, Doubledare, Electric chair, or promise to repeat?"  
  
"Sure!" they all said.  
  
"Alright, I'll start..." Harry stated. "uhm.... Hermione!"  
  
"Give me..... Double Dare." Said Hermione, not wanting to be a poor sport and say ptr or truth.  
  
"Okay... you can either..... Makeout with Ginny," Rons face turned a deep burgandy, "or...Make sex noises all through next potions class..." Hermione passed it to Ron, who passed it to Ginny, who made out with herself.  
  
"Hermione, your turn."  
  
Hermione ended up challenging Ron on an electric chair to run around the common room shouting 'My name is Ron Weasley and my penis is the size of an almond!' for five minutes straight.  
  
It was alright though, because Ron bounced back with a great one for Hermione.  
  
"I EC Dare you to spell Snapes underwear off him next class and then make his pants fall down when his Robes are open and he's facing the class."  
  
******************************************  
  
Hermione's detention went off okay, considering that it was with Snape, but somehow, within that one day,auditions day, they had found respect for each other. But that was soon to be broken by Rons dare.  
  
******************************************  
  
Fortunately, Snape had heard the three in the hall, the two boys arguing with her that she had to do it, or else she was a loser. And he had heard enough to get the pants without underwear trick that was to be played on him.  
  
Before classes had begun, yet they were all seated, Snape strode into the classroom and said loudly: "Misters Potter and Weasley, You two have a weeks worth of detention with Filch, for conspiring against a teacher and forcing another more intellegent individual to do your dirty work. Miss Granger, you are now void of anything these boys have attempted to convince you to do." With that said, this is the list of needed ingredients for the...."  
  
And so class went on as normal.  
  
Unfortunately, The parts for the musical were posted that evening... 


	5. Results and Imbiciles

Results

(Staff members, look for your name under old houses)

Gryffindor

Buffy- Hermione Granger

Willow- Ginny Weasley

Tara- Jhenna Rhosko

Giles- Remus Lupin

Demon- Dean Thomas

Anya- Parvati Patil

Xander- Sirius Black

Dancer 1- Minerva McGonagall

Dancer 3- Seamus Finnigan

Boy 1- Ronald Weasley

Boy 2- Harry Potter

Tapdance Man- Neville Longbottom

Underwear Lady- Lavender Brown

Hufflepuff

Police Officer-Jennifer Randall

StreetSweeper 2- Alexis Heath

SreetSweeper 3- Matthew Zeis

Minion 1- Eric Duce

Minion 2- Geoff Freeland

Minion 3- David Terrie

Ravenclaw

Dawn- Cho Chang

Handsome Guy- Shawn Gusee

Mustard Man- Filius Flitwick

Sunbather 1- Padma Patil

Sunbather 2- Luna Lovegood

Slytherin

Vampire 1- Gregory Goyle

Vampire 2- Vincent Crabbe

Dancer 2- Millicent Bullstrode

Dancer 4- Blaise Zambini

Streetsweeper 1- Pansy Parkinson

Spike- Severus Snape

Sweet- Draco Malfoy

It seemed as though Hermione was the last to know about recieving the lead role in the musical. Then again, she didn't have enough guts to go up to the wall and look. She heard about every one else, though, because Harry and Ron had a nasty comment about almost every single one.

"Shawn Gusee got the part of 'Handsome Guy'? whoever did the casting must be blind!" Snuffed Ron indignantly. Hermione came back with an equally nasty retort for Ron.

"Well, not as blind as if they cast you for that part, besides, unless you are either bisexual or gay, you have no right to remark about another male's attractiveness." It went eerily silent.

"Bullstrode as a dancer! They must be out of their bleeding minds! She'll probably fall throught the stage as soon as she does a hop!" Harry and Ron howled with laughter.

"And with your nasty attitudes, I'm suprised either of you hasn't gotten punched by her yet, you remember what happened sixth year when Dean Called her fat. He was in the hospital wing for a week, growing back his old teeth and healing that broken arm of his. You two deserve the same!" Hermione yelled. She didn't like Millicent either, but Harry and Ron were being downright cruel.

"I always knew Zambini was a froofy pouf! the fact that he's gonna dance proves it!" Ron said, twinkle in his eye.

"Just because he dances doesn't mean that he is a 'pouf', Ronald Weasley, it simply means that he is man enough to come out with his talents and brave enough to show them to assholes like you!"

"Just where she should be! streetsweeping, Hey Pansy! Why don't you lick my boots too!" yelled Harry. Hermione punched him right in the mouth. "Ow! 'Moine what was that for!"

"For you being a jerk! I should beat the crap out of you! but I wont simply because Professor Snape is watch-" Hermione was cut off by Snape himself.

"Miss Granger, I assure you that were you to assault Mister Potter, not only would I allow you to do so, I may also cheer you on and award house points."

"Thank you, Professor, However, I feel it more appropriate to verbally abuse him." She sent him a sneer that almost matched his own. Almost. He was almost proud. Almost.

It was dinner time in the great hall, and Hermione was looking around for where Harry may have disappeared to. Then she noticed that Ginny was also missing. Her lips became thinner as speculations ran through her head. She hoped, she really hoped that Ginny wasn't playing around on Draco with Harry. Then she saw the two of them enter together, Harry's face was slightly pinker than it normally was and Ginny's was flushed red. 'Oh Dear' thought Hermione.

At the end of Dinner, The announcement was made that rehearsals would start at 9:00 that night. "Act 1, Scenes 2 and 3, which will require the following Characters: Buffy, Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, and Dawn, Thank you, I expect to see all the actors whose characters were mentioned previously in the auditorium at 9:00. That gives you an hour and a half to ready yourselves. Good night to the rest of you. "

With that everyone was off to the common rooms.

"Wow, 'Mione, you've got to go tonight, then, I wonder what time you'll get back, do you want us to wait up for you?" Asked Harry.

"Harry, What are you on about? I don't need to go anywhere tonight..."

"Hermione, your written down as 'Buffy'" Harry argued. Hermione just froze and toppled over backward. Someone, luckily caught her before she hit the ground.

"May want to watch your friends more closely, Potter. I may not be around the next time you shock the girl into a dead flop." A Velvety voice came from Harry's left and he quickly turned.

"Thank you so much Professor Snape, I didn't even know she had fainted." Harry said, truly thankful.

"That, Potter, is because you are a prattling moron, and you don't pay attention." Harry made a move to take Hermione from Snape's arms, when he said, "No, Potter, that's quite alright, I can carry her. The last thing we need is for you to flub up carrying her and having her fall down the stairs to her death, which is no doubt what would happen if I entrusted you with something as precious as human life."

Snape carried Hermione up to the Head Girl's rooms and laid her on her bed. 'Thanks to the powers that be, Potter had not followed us in.' He sat on her bed, next to her, waiting for her to rouse. When she finally did, it was almost time for her to get going to the rehearsal.

"Professor? What are you doing here?" She asked, a bit uneased by his prescence.

"I was simply waiting until you woke, to see if you have a concussion," 'That is a downright lie, Severus,' said the little voice in his head, 'You know damn well that she has no concussion, you caught her before she hit the floor.' "As far as I can see you have none, I will leave so that you may get ready for the rehearsal, sinse no one will be wearing their robes or school uniforms. Good Night, Miss Granger." He got up to leave.

"Professor" she said as he headed for the door, he turned quickly to face her. "Thank you." He nodded. She turned and headed for the bathroom. It's amazing what being within the close vicinity of one's crush for even a small period of time, will do to one's bladder.


	6. Author's Note

My computer crashed, I am using the one at school… I apologize to all my faithful readers, but it is going to take yet more time to update… so just beat me now :hold arms out,ready for a good flogging:


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